


Romance, Gender and Chibi-chan: the Three Largest Sources of Confusion in the Mind of Oikawa Tooru.

by AutisticWriter



Series: Aromantic Awareness Week 2019 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anti-shippers don't interact, Aromantic Awareness Week, Aromantic spectrum, Awkwardness, Coming Out, Confusion, Demiromantic, Demiromantic Character, Demiromantic Oikawa Tooru, Developing Relationship, During Canon, Falling In Love, Ficlet, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Oikawa Tooru, Holding Hands, Other, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 11:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17897804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: In which Oikawa struggles with their feelings towards romance (and if they are aro or arospec), their own gender, and their feelings towards Hinata.





	Romance, Gender and Chibi-chan: the Three Largest Sources of Confusion in the Mind of Oikawa Tooru.

1 – Romance

For a long time, Oikawa knew there was something ‘different’ about them. They were always popular with the girls (and some of the boys), but Oikawa never wanted to date them. They just didn’t get why people fell in love, kissing scenes on TV made them uncomfortable, and, although they flirted back when people flirted with them, Oikawa always turned them down. They just never wanted to date.

This gradually made sense when they were fifteen, and Iwaizumi told them about the label ‘asexual’. It took a bit of thinking, but things made sense.

At fifteen, Oikawa came out as asexual. Six months later, they discovered the split attraction model and found the perfect label for them.

They came out as aromantic, and their identity finally made sense.

\---

2 – Gender

Gender has never made sense to Oikawa Tooru. People called them a boy (because that is what the doctor called them when they were born), but it never fit right. Sometimes, yeah, they did feel like a boy, but not most of the time. When they were six they discovered that some people are trans, but Oikawa knew they weren’t a girl either – at least, not most of the time.

At ten years of age, Okiakwa found it. They were on their mom’s computer doing homework, and as soon as Mom left the room, they typed **can you sometimes be a girl and other times be a boy?** into the search engine. And less than a second later, their label appeared on the screen: genderfluid.

Ever since that day they have been out as genderfluid, and everyone accepts them (although some people still don’t get it no matter how many times they explain it). And they present as a boy some days as a girl on others but most of the time they feel agender, and they keep the name Tooru because it’s quite gender neutral and they just love… they love that feeling when you know your identity is correct.

\---

3 – Chibi-chan (AKA Hinata Shouyou)

Oikawa first met Chibi-chan at a practise match, and they were amazed to see a kid so short jump so high. And they were quickly enamoured by his bright orange hair and amazing speed, and they wanted to know Hinata better – but in a totally non romantic way. That was around the time the nickname Chibi-chan was born, and Hinata continued calling them the Grand King. They were a bit uncomfortable with the masculine title, but they couldn’t expect miracles when they played volleyball on a boys’ team. Still, being called that made them grin, both because it annoyed Tobio-chan and it showed Hinata’s ridiculously adorable personality. And they knew they wanted to be friends with Hinata.

It took longer than they wanted to Hinata (they are rivals, after all), but Okiawa enjoyed the time they spent with him. And, from the adorable smile on his face, they knew Hinata enjoyed their time together too. In a couple of months, they considered each other friends.

But it was six months into their friendship with Hinata when it happened: for the first time in their life, Oikawa started to develop romantic attraction towards another person. They… were getting some kind of crush on Chibi-chan. It was weird and more than a little frightening, and Oikawa didn’t know what to do. The whole concept of romance was alien to them.

They thought about it again and again, and finally accepted it. They had a crush on Hinata.

And, in that one moment, their identity fell apart.

Oikawa really didn’t know how to feel.

So they weren’t aromantic after all?

Did all their identity searching mean nothing?

In the end, Oikawa was back on Google, searching for answers.

Into the search engine they typed: **Aromantic but getting crush after six months of friendship.**

And, once again, a search engine solved their issues.

‘Demiromantic’ was the first result that came up.

They stared at the screen and clicked on a link to a sight all about aromantic and asexual identities. And they read about how there is an aromantic spectrum and how some people only develop romantic attraction very, very rarely (this is called grayromantic), whilst others have to experience a deep emotional bond before the attraction starts to form – demiromantic.

Was this… them?

It made so much sense.

At almost eighteen years of age, Oikawa Tooru rediscovered their identity – and it was all because of Chibi-chan.

\---

“So… what are you saying?” Hinata says, frowning.

They sit opposite Hinata at a table in a coffee store, waiting for their drinks to arrive.

“You’ve got a crush on me, but it took all the time we’ve known each other to develop? Have I got it?”

Wishing their face would stop burning, Okiawa nods. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Hinata looks at them, his stare seeming to drill into their skull, and… grins. “Okay, that makes sense. Is there a name for it?”

“Uh… demiromantic,” Oikawa says, blinking. So… Hinata accepts them? “Um… Chibi-chan… I only brought this up because… would you—”

“I know what you wanna say,” Hinata says, cutting off their awkward rambling. “And, yeah… I’ll go out with you.”

Even though Oikawa wants t act cool, their mouth actually opens in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve had a crush on you since we first met. We can talk about volleyball together. And wind up Kageyama. That all okay?”

With a level of caution, as though they fear this adorable guy with vanish, Oikawa reaches out and covers his hand with their own. “Yeah, that’s more than okay. Thank you, Chibi-chan.”

Hinata grins. “No problem. Are you ever gonna stop calling me that?”

“Are you ever gonna stop calling me Grand King?” Oikawa says, smirking.

That makes Hinata laugh. “Fair point. And if you’re not in the mood for that nickname, call me Shouyou. What’s your given name again?”

“Tooru.”

“Then I’ll call you Tooru!” Hinata says, shifting his hand and grasping Oikawa’s, interlocking their fingers. “Sound good?”

Oikawa smiles. “Yeah, sounds great.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want me to write you a short fic, drop in a prompt at my [personal prompt meme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/AutisticWriters_Personal_Prompt_Meme)!


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